The Final Verdict: Women with short hair

owlows

jaljas

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Final Verdict: I haven’t seen or met a single woman in my life that would look better with short hair than with long hair. If you consciously choose to uglify yourself by chopping off your hair, you have problems. Bare in mind, these are 10/10’s; you’re probably a 5 or 6, we’re trying to help you. Short hair may as well be considered self damage, and dying your hair stupid colors just indicates to the world that you’re a freak.

Fun questions women ask!

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Here’s some fun questions women you date may ask, and how I recommend you answer them.

“How many women have you had sex with?”

How to answer: Grab a pen and paper, and start from the very beginning. Think really hard, and list every girl’s name in chronological order. After doing so, tell a short story about a sexcapade or series of them that you’ve had with each girl. If you really want to impress, label the girl’s who you had the best sex with and which one’s gave the most unforgettable blowjobs etc.

“Are you attracted to my brains or my body?”

How to answer: A brief moment of silence is the key to answering this question. Nod your head, light a smoke, and look around the surrounding area. The moment she interrupts your deep thought, answer her with a smug smile, and lean in for a deep kiss. Look deeply into her eye’s, and say “I’m sorry babe, I didn’t hear anything you said. I just stare into your eyes, and have dirty fantasies.” Optional: You can follow up with another smooching for the home run.

“Am I fat?”

How to answer: Pull out your smart phone, tablet, or laptop and google the key phrase “Ariana Grande Weight Body Statistics.” You must always be prepared for this question, so always keep a measuring tape nearby and bookmark the above search on all of your devices. Proceed to compare measurements between this girl and Ariana Grande with your measuring tape. If her measurements aren’t up to par, clasp both hands up against your face (covering your eyes) and pretend to sulk and cry. Play it up like a pro by exclaiming “Oh God, what have I done!? I’m with a fattie.”

“What are you thinking?”

How to answer: Shotgun your drink, and pause for an epic “burp.” Blink your eyes a couple times, examine her from head to toe, and then under your breathe say “nope, not yet.”

Let the “powers that be” fight for us!

Vivitar

Fags & libertards

To find out who are the “powers that be,” you only have to figure out who you’re not allowed to criticize.

I think I’ve figured it out… Here’s my outlook.

Let those in the west who are in power fight the wars. The homosexuals, The rainbow genders, The women, The obese (“BODY POSITIVE”), and every race that isn’t white. Do not subject the white man who does not identify with any of those categories to fight for a culture that degrades him – a culture that he doesn’t recognize – a culture that his forefathers fought against to build this great nation.

*Satire