Crazy Georgia pt.2


Foreign Teacher A: “You ready for tonight?”

Me: “ I”m doneskiis bro.”

Foreign Teacher A: “Oh fuck you. It’s Christmas. You got some shit on the reg now, and your done?”

Me: “Bro, I can barely keep my eyes open.”

Foreign Teacher A: “Congrats, you’re Chinese now. I’m taking you for dinner and drinks after we finish this class. Whatever you want, just do what you do.”

Me: “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’m not fucking Bebe.”

Foreign Teacher A: “You better not. You’ll chew her up and spit her out so fast, we’ll never be able to drink at Shares again. She’s a good girl, you’re scum.”

Me: “I wonder what that makes you?”

Foreign Teacher A: “Huh?”

Me: “Haha, bro you act as though she can do no wrong. She’s a 27 year old single bartender, with no education, and is barely a 6.5 on appearance that is (I’m a shallow chauvinist, and I only value a woman’s appearance). She’s a sluu, and it couldn’t be any easier.”

Foreign Teacher A: “You’re so young and naive (shaking his head).”

Me: “Yea yea, let’s get this class done.”


Operation DIPSET pt.5

Incoming Call: 18843442803

I stepped out of Foreign Teacher A’s class, and answered…

Me: “Hi, where are you?”

Mystery Rep: “Outside. Come to meet?”

Me: “Yea, I’ll be there in a second.”

I stepped outside, light a smoke. As I walked across the front of the school, I noticed a short and stumpy Chinese man leaned up on a car who appeared to be staring in my direction, but I wasn’t sure. I have goggles for eyes, so I leaned up against the front school door and continued to smoke.

Mystery rep: “Over here!”

I stood up straight, and walked towards the short man by the car. I assumed it was him, as I heard his voice come from that direction.

Mystery rep: “SC are you ok?”

Me: “Yea, I’m good. I just have bad eyes.”

Mystery rep: “How are you?”

Me: “I’m fine, and you?”

Mystery rep: “Do you have time to go for dinner?”

Me: “Well… I have two hours left to work, so no…”

Mystery Rep: “Do you have class tonight?”

Me: “No…”

Mystery Rep: “Then it doesn’t matter. You will come with me. We will go to dinner.”

Me: ….. “I don’t know.”

Mystery Rep: “Get in the car.”

I didn’t have much to lose from this encounter, so I hopped in the passenger seat. The worst case scenario would have been making up the absent hours next week. The decision was a no brainer.

The mystery rep started driving, and talked on his phone for most of the ride. I assumed he was busy talking business with the recruitment agency, or other clients. He paused to ask what food I liked, and I replied “anything.”

Mystery rep: “My son loves pizza, and every foreigner enjoys pizza. We will get pizza.”

Me: “Sure, I just want to talk about…”

Mystery rep: “DON’T WORRY! Let us eat first. You must eat.”

This is how the Chinese like to operate. They’re good business people, and won’t talk business until you’re softened up with food and drink. He pulled into a Papa John’s parking lot.

The mystery rep was very quick to order some strong beer and a couple different dishes without my input. He could sense my disinterest in food, and niceties. I sat there peeling the label off of my beer, itching to initiate the intended conversation of this meet up.

Mystery rep: “I can see, you are not happy. I am not happy, we are not happy. You are very good, very handsome. Stop worrying, drink.. Ganbei! Do you want to smoke?”