Crazy Georgia pt.5 1/2

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Crazy Georgia: “Hi, nice to meet you.” (staring deeply into my eyes)

Me: “Yea…”

Hungarian Asshole: “Yo… Dickhead.. Over here!”

Crazy Georgia: “Those are your friends?”

Me: “Unfortunately.”

Crazy Georgia: “Hehe.” 

Me: “Do you want to join for a drink?”

Crazy Georgia: “Yes!”

Her eyes got so wide and had a  twinkle in them every time she looked into mine (a twinkle I’ll never forget), I couldn’t tell if she was drunk or in love at first sight. I posted up at the table with overly friendly acquaintances for the most part, and a few friends. She posted up next to me, and was so engaged in everything I commented on. The second my mouth opened she would completely abandon whatever small talk conversation she was engaged in and direct all of her focus on me.

To side track here, she was a hottie… A tight petite feminine body, long brown hair all the way down to her booty, big brown eyes, soft olive skin, docile, cute and nurturing.

As the conversation in our group took a political turn, she stood behind all of my commentary and statements. Fuck it, she fought battles for me and I barely knew the chick. To do this day I don’t know if she was seduced by me or was trying to seduce me. I was going to slam her like I just got out of prison irregardless.

Reader feedback (2):

Jade writes:

I am here to tell you how utterly disgusted I am by you. You claim to be a Christian but how could you take such advantage of God’s unconditional love? You work with children and are meant to be an example- yet you treat women like filth.

You hide behind your ego like a lost soul, yet you claim to know the salvation that Jesus Christ offers. You judge others as Christ was judged and yet you find your actions and opinions to be the highlight of your personality… I’ve read your website, and I don’t understand what has indoctrinated you into such a hateful existence.

Just know that the darkness will become a lonely place. You should seek to spread love and not hate. None of us are perfect, so who am I to talk right? Some men were made to destruct and others were made to heal.

Spreading cuddles, peace, love and happiness is not what we do. Humor maybe… But this isn’t buzzfeed, huffington post, or crack.com.There are thousands of different blogs and sites that cater to your positive bullshit needs. That’s all Jade.

Playing with fire

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I’ve been preoccupied… Experimenting… With a creature that we all too often overlook – “the slu.” My experiences with slu’s have never extended the scope of a fucked up night raw dogging until the sun comes up…. And sometimes skipping work for a couple days to continue raw dogging until her vajj is K.O’ed; lips so swollen it looks like she got fat from her ass injected into them. But I wanted to try something different, as I’m naturally a curious person. I like playing with fire, so I took a slu under my wing for a good period of time. I have some notes to share with you in the form of a data sheet. Here we will cover the good, the bad, the ugly and some cool stuff about these creatures:

5 ways to identify them:

  1. Tattoos – If they’re visible just whip your cock out in her presence. You’ll thank me later. We’ve covered this before, click the link https://smokencanvas.wordpress.com/2016/05/20/women-tattoos/
  1. “Fuck, Cunt, Pussy, Cock”-If she frequents these words, she is all too familiar with cock filling the empty space in her pussy, cunt etc.
  1. Numb– Tickle her – this is a surefire way to determine whether your new girl is a slu. If there’s no physical response, you know what you have on or in your hands.
  1. Guilty by association – If she nonchalantly tells you her girls cheat on their boytoys, get the fuck out my dude. You will be cucked next, and she’ll brag about it.
  1. If she smokes, she pokes – Need I say I more. And no, women and men aren’t held to the same standards. A mans value is based on a different set of qualities in contrast to a woman’s.

The Good Stuff:

  1. Compliance –She will not question you or your decisions. You tell her what to do, and she will do it in confidence. You are her master, she is your dog and she likes it that way. “Sit, paw, good doggie! Here’s a treat, I am so proud of you.”
  1. Fucking – She’s not a prude. She asks your preference after a long day of work and she truly cares about the well being of your cock. “Baby what do you want? To fuck, make love, I can suck you off, or make love to your cock with my mouth.”
  1. Moneys flowing, Slu’s humble – You should always keep your money straight. Regardless of your fem situation or how handsome you are, this is the one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal. Most millennials do not know how to handle money; you can control, contain or dissolve all circumstances/ troubles around you if you have large sums of money behind you. I’ve created a system for you to follow, click the link https://smokencanvas.wordpress.com/2015/09/21/the-asshole-method-money-management/

The Bad Stuff:

  1. Guy A, B, C, D, E –You may use this woman as a colostomy bag for your jizz, but you need to understand; you’re not the only one using her for this purpose.

Why you should deal with them:

Believe it or not, slu’s are good to keep around if you can maintain control over them. They are submissive, and will do anything and everything to please their men. However, you need to be careful not to catch feelings. These creatures are master manipulators, and the most recent one I’ve had dealings with has taught me a couple things I was too ignorant to clearly identify before. I sincerly thank her for that.

6 steps to dealing with them:

#1: Understand these creatures want the illusion of love: Make her breakfast and coffee in the morning, fix her hair and do cute stuff for her behind closed doors. But never in public.

#2: Facebook and Social Networking is a big NO NO: Do not change your relationship status, and by no means will you allow photos with her to circulate on your online domain.

#3: Not a drop of those bad boys go to waste: Yup that’s right… They go deep down down her throat every morning you wake up. I couldn’t imagine starting my morning any other way.

#4: Texting: There are no smiley faces, or emojis. There is “ok” “yes” “no” and “maybe.” That is all…

#5: Avoid all temptation to get in deep: She will do everything in her power to get you in deep. If you’ve followed the above, you are in the power position right now. Do not buckle. Keep her in the same spot where you’re in power and benefiting from her presence 10 fold.

#6: Keep her as entertainment till it’s time to settle down Long as you continue to fuck her good, and treat her well she will be well trained to do as she’s told. She will stay out of your affairs, and come by you at your wish and disposal. She respects you, and will disappear at the drop of a dime when you decide to cut ties for a proper woman. She may claim to be heart broken and shed tears, but she would have destroyed you way worse had you given her the opportunity. And she knows it….

Playing with fire can be fun, long as it doesn’t leave a burning sensation in your crotch area.

The Bonsai Tree

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I would like to start our new fiscal year with a short story.

I’ve never been one to appreciate or see the beauty in nature, however I was recently reminded of something that I now hold dear to me. My Mother showed me my old room over skype on New years day. To no surprise, it had been converted into a storage room for old furniture and picture frames. As my Mother turned back towards the foyer, I asked her to stop.

Mom: “What’s the matter?”

Me: “The bonsai tree.”

Mom: “What about it?”

Me: “Can you bring me closer to it?”

Mom: (Chuckle) “Sure. You remember she gave this to you before you left? I haven’t moved it, and I’ve taken care of it ever since.”

Me: “Heh.. Cool, cool…”

Mom: “Do you miss her?”

Me: “Nah… I just want to look at this, that’s all.”

I don’t know what has gotten into me, but before this day I had never taken the time to examine and notice all of the small details of this tree. From its foliage, to its strong trunk, to how tightly packed the soil is.

After I had gotten off of skype with my parents, the image of the Bonsai tree by my window sill was stuck in my head. Even though it was still small, I knew that it took years for it to get to its current state. I sat on my couch thinking about this tree for over an hour.

I felt so peaceful thinking about it, because it’s as if it has seen so much yet it isn’t bothered by what’s going on around it. It’s not worried about the chaotic nature of life. It doesn’t have a care in the world, and one day it will die as gracefully as the day it came into being.

I hope to get closer to the same nature as my Bonsai tree in this new year.

Top 4 posts from our 2016 fiscal year

#1: WOMEN & TATTOOS

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“It is not your place to look at the art I display on my body to assume and judge whether I have made good life choices or not. You do not know me more than a stranger passing me in the street placing judgment on me. Yes you know me as a person, but you do not know me personally- I’m not the same 15 year old you knew. So by you asking to see my tattoos so you can place judgment is rude, and offensive.”

Click the link below for the full post:

https://smokencanvas.wordpress.com/2016/05/20/women-tattoos/

#2: Dear Students

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“I could draw a better dog than you with my left foot after a week long bender on blow, booze, and acid in 30 seconds. Just wanted to clear the air on that.”

Click the link below for the full post:

https://smokencanvas.wordpress.com/2016/06/10/dear-students/

#3: I hate to hate you pt.1- pt.3

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I silently stared her down, as she leaned in and slowly started unbuckling my belt with a smug look on her face.

Me: “Yo! Throw that shit out, before it burns a hole in my bed!” *BLINK* *BLINK*

(Regained composure – hoping she’s too far gone to have caught that)

After tossing the cigarette, she made her way to the bedroom door and flicked the light switch off. I could feel her lean in close, and whisper “I win.”

Click the links below for the full post:

https://smokencanvas.wordpress.com/2015/12/08/i-hate-to-hate-you-part-13/

https://smokencanvas.wordpress.com/2015/12/10/i-hate-to-hate-you-part-23/

https://smokencanvas.wordpress.com/2015/12/18/i-hate-to-hate-you-part-33/

#4: Constitution of marriage proposal

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“Look at how far we’ve come; gay marriage is legal, marijuana legalization is spreading like wild fire throughout the west, women have completely abandoned the idea of a traditional nuclear family, homosexuals prance through our major cities with dildos strapped to their foreheads every year, our education system teaches our children about anal sex at the age of 10, and we regularly celebrate those that are clinically insane in the media.

Although I almost broke my keyboard writing the above, I realize that I have little choice but to hop on the bandwagon at this point. Therefore, I have constructed a proposal.”

Click the link below for the full post:

https://smokencanvas.wordpress.com/2015/11/06/constitution-of-marriage-proposal/

How to not be FAT

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You’re fat because you’re lazy. No, it’s not your thyroid or your bone density or whatever. You’re just lazy. I’m also lazy, but I’m not a fat ass like you. You can be just like me, if you utilize your laziness to it’s full potential. Be lazy when it comes to eating, because your over productivity in shoving your face with food doesn’t benefit you in any way shape or form.

THE SMOKENCANVAS LAZY GUIDE TO NOT BEING FAT

#1: Go to the store and buy 10 jugs of water. The 1.5 gallon bottles of water.

#2: Go home and drink water until you feel full.

#3: If you’re really hungry, eat a cracker.

#4: Go to the store and buy more water. Drink it.

#5: Do this everyday for a month.

After a month start eating like a normal person. A normal person diet consists of a coffee in the morning, no breakfast, no lunch and a feast of everything you can eat in one sitting for dinner. Yea it’s that simple and you knew it all along fatso.

Crazy Georgia pt.4 2/2

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In the elevator back to shares:

Edog: “Don’t disappoint me.”

Me: You’re a real asshole, you know?”

Edog: “Who’s been there for you through all your rough patches?”

Me: “Me, myself.”

Edog: “Wrong, me. I’ve taken all of your abuse through the rough times… COCKSUCKER!!!”

Me: “We’re here, fuck off now.”

Edog: “Promise you won’t disappoint me.”

Me: “Fuck! If shit doesn’t happen tonight, I’ll buy a fishing rod tomorrow and go pick up some fat chicks to massage you. I’ll use big mac’s as my bait. How bout that?”

Edog: “I’m sorry, I’m making you frustrated. Relax…..”

Me: “Ok.”

Edog: “Don’t disappoint me.”

Me: “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”