“You must hire a real estate agent to find an apartment in China. You will pay 1500 rmb.”
“We paid your utilities bill. Now, you must pay us 2000 rmb.”
“I am very happy that you like your work uniform. You are a new teacher here, so you should pay us 600 rmb for your uniform.”
“Your assistant left the A/C on in your classroom, and you were the last one to leave the room. You must pay 100 rmb now. If it happens again, you will have to pay 200 rmb.”
“Your recruitment agency is responsible for you. We can not pay you on time this month, so they should pay you. You must call them.”
“If you need help with anything, do not hesitate to ask; we only expect a steak dinner in return.”
As I silently sat there at my desk, I was reminded of all this rubbish money scrounging that I’ve had to deal with (which wasn’t stipulated in my contract). The Cute Cunts story was all I needed to start mentally piecing the puzzle together.
There were so many red flag indicators replaying in my mind, I realized it was time to start planning possible exit strategies. Not tomorrow, or the day after; right then, and there was the time.
I reached into my drawer and grabbed my smokes, while simultaneously setting off my ringtone. I put on a smug smile and swung my chair around.
Foreign Teacher A: “Is it one of those 16 digit numbers again?”
Me: “No, It’s Horny Brit.”
Foreign Teacher A: “She’s such a slut. Fuck that bro, let’s go for a smoke.”
Me: “No no, I gotta take this.”
I ran down the hall, pulled out a smoke, and pretended to answer:
Me: “Hey troublemaker, what’s up?”
Nobody on the other line: “…”
(One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi)
Me: “Oh shut up, we both know you’re a little wanker. You’re drinking already, aren’t you?”
I winked at the front desk attendant as I walked outside; she responded with a school girl giggle. The front desk attendant didn’t know any English, so the parameters of communication with her were limited to physical gestures, smiles and laughs.
I walked down the street to a yellow river, found a bench and light my smoke…
Coming next: Operation DIPSET: pt.3