The Dating Holy Grail

Gentlemen you should treat dating like entering a new country. Hold your cock horses back, before doing anything stupid. Each and every single prospective female candidate that you’re considering dating exclusively, should undergo a screening; the same way we undergo screening at boarders and airports.

Assuming you’re worthy (all avid male followers of smokencanvas pass the bar in worthiness), if the female candidate doesn’t meet the minimum requirements listed below, she’s not worthy (of an exclusive relationship that is).

#1: Cute face, long hair, tight booty.

#2: Weighs less than 120 pounds.

#3: Shorter than you in heels.

#4: Understands that your career and family are more important than her, and respects you for that.

#5: Understands the concept of space, and doesn’t mind only seeing you twice a month at max on an occasional basis.

#6: Loves you for the asshole that you are.

If she checks out, congrats! You have one final test to overcome…

Final test:

Go to the nearest bathroom, stare at yourself in the mirror and say the following with a straight face: “I parlay the surrender of my cock to (insert name here).”

I defy you you to pass the final test with a straight face. However, if you do… I wish you well, and good luck!

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