Constitution of Marriage proposal

marriage

Today we live in a very progressive society, some call this the generation of the new age hippies. Although I am opposed to quite a few of the new wave thought process’s and cultural ideals of today’s western civilization, I have determined to open my mind up to “liberalism” in this post.

Look at how far we’ve come; gay marriage is legal, marijuana legalization is spreading like wild fire throughout the west, women have completely abandoned the idea of a traditional nuclear family, homosexuals prance through our major cities with dildos strapped to their foreheads every year, our education system teaches our children about anal sex at the age of 10, and we regularly celebrate those that are clinically insane in the media.

Although I almost broke my keyboard writing the above, I realize that I have little choice but to hop on the bandwagon at this point. Therefore, I have constructed a proposal.

If we’ve come this far, then we can indefinitely reconstruct the constitution of marriage. A one size fits all approach clearly doesn’t work in western civilization. We are all unique individuals!!!

I am proposing a 3 tier marriage system, that will re-invent the constitution of marriage. After all tradition is out dated. Right???

Note: When I am addressing child support, I am assuming that the woman gets custody of the child/children. In which case, 99% of the time the woman does. 

Tier 1 specifications: Apprenticeship Marriage

  • Child support is optional for non-biological children. Otherwise, child support is mandatory for 4 years after the contract expires (applies to biological children only).
  • 40% visitation rights are granted to the man, regardless of how much the woman pisses and moans during the custody hearings (applies to biological children only). 
  • The woman is not entitled to alimony.
  • The marriage contract lasts for 2.5 years.
  • Both parties have the option of agreeing to a 2.5 year extension at the end of their contract; if not, the marriage becomes null and void. Both parties may also upgrade to a higher tier at the end of their contract.

Tier 2 specifications: Modern Marriage 

  • The marriage contract lasts for 5 years. If both parties do not agree to renew and/or upgrade at the end of their contract, their marriage becomes null and void.
  • Child support is optional for non-biological children. Otherwise child support is mandatory for 8 years after the contract expires (applies to biological children only).
  • 50% visitation rights are granted to the man, regardless of how much the woman pisses and moans during custody hearings (applies to biological children only). 
  • The woman is not entitled to alimony.

Tier 3 specifications: Traditional Marriage 

In the circumstance of a divorce…

  • The man is not entitled to anything.
  • The man may be lucky enough to obtain the privilege of visiting his child/children on a bi-weekly basis.
  • The man may be forced to pay child support for non-biological children.
  • The man must parley the surrender of half or more of his net worth.

The short term proposals sound fantastic, don’t they gentlemen? Unfortunately, a proposal like this would never pass the bar even in the hyper progressive west.

The clear reason being is not that this thought and or idea has no validity on the liberal/ democratic platform which has engulfed western civilization. But, that it does not benefit women, and/or take rights away from men.

I’m sorry gentlemen.

I SAID IT! RELEASE THE FEMINISTS, SJW’S, AND LIBERAL FREAKS ON ME!

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